Monologuing and commentaries

I've mentioned before Monkey Man's habit of monologuing or giving a running commentary on whatever it is he is doing.  I'm sure some of you can relate to it!

Currently he's playing a round of Angry Birds (With "In the Hall of the Mountain King" playing in the background of course) & barely stops to take a breath:




Oh I beat Darth Vadar bird
Now onto Tatooine
There we go
that's where most of the birds destroyed from only just two
Now onto Hoth
take that birds
Now this boss has the sort of dragons
but the Darth Vadar one for this is actually a giant version
I'm versing these dragons
Oh I just arrived at the boss and I've got one more bird left
There's two enemies left
I need to get them in perfect position
Oh I missed the boss
I'll have to re-do the level
Three birds left
No two birds left
and three enemies
Ohhhhhh!
I only just missed one, one enemy
Four more enemies one bird
Ohhh! I did the same thing again, missed an enemy
BOOM
Took out three enemies with TNT
Ok, final lot
Is the boss bird there?
Yep
Two more birds, five more enemies
Ooooh, I took out most of them with *A* bird
Now I just have to get the rest of them done
Then I'll have defeated the level

He'd be mighty unimpressed if he knew I was typing as he talked just now, but yeah, you get my drift.... it goes on... and on.... and on... and on.

For the longest time it drove me completely insane not being able to get Monkey Man to stop talking. He talks far more than any of my other kids! He also doesn't take any notice as to whether the person he's "talking at" is listening or not. If you don't reply, he just keep going until he asks a question of you - at which point he'll ask repeatedly until you answer, then go right back to his monologue.

Because of this, after a time it became easier and easier to just ignore his prattling and shut it out... except you'd come completely undone when he asked that question and you had no idea what you were responding about.  So I'm having to work on finding the balance between not only actively listening to what he is saying and knowing when he needs to just be allowed to talk for the sake of talking & doesn't actually need an audience. As well as teaching him when he needs to be quiet and how to do activities without needing to describe every single detail of what is going on.

When he asks to do a particular task, be it playing a card game, using the iPad or other solitary activity, I'll often say yes, but put guidelines on what is required in order for him to use whatever he has asked for.

They're usually things like:

1) Play without speaking unless you need help or need to ask a question
2) Remain while seated unless the game requires movement (otherwise on the wii in particular he spends the entire time literally bouncing all over the room)
3)Use the toilet before playing & remember to pay attention to his body's needs while playing. (to avoid toileting accidents which can often happen when he's engrossed in something he doesn't want to leave)

Number 1 & 2 can be extremely difficult for him some days, but other days he does really well in sitting and playing quietly.  If he forgets and starts bouncing, instead of getting cross at him for breaking his "rules" I ask him what he was supposed to be doing in order to play whatever it is he's using. He usually responds with "Oh yeah, sorry Mum, I forgot" and settles down again.

He doesn't always get it right, I don't always get it right - some days I expect practice in being quiet when he's simply not in the mode of being able to comply (usually when something has caused him to be stressed, agitated, hyper excited, etc) but we're working on the balance and bit by bit he's learning, I'm learning and we're having days where we're not clashing over his extreme noise levels.

Brrrr

It's cold today - a bit of a shock to the system after the heat we've had for such a long time over summer.  I'm not complaining though, I much prefer the cold.  It's also insanely quiet in my house. That's something that is a rarity and I cherish it when it does happen.  JJ is off on a camp and Miss A went to visit family, so it's just the boys and I currently. Ironically it's my boys who are the most quiet when the other kids are away.

B man is a very solitary young man who loves being alone, but also love time with his Mum.  Monkey Man is not normally quiet *at all* but with the girls away and no one to egg him on, the only noise coming from him is his near constant monologuing about everything he does... but today, so far he's quietly watching Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.

I can be a control freak at times, and have learned to get huge amounts of tasks done in a minimal amount of time.  Being term break, my homeschool whiteboard is currently filled with a list of jobs waiting to be checked off.  The first day of the holidays we used to get stuck in and do a heap of cleaning around the house - especially of the bedroom disaster zones, which meant from there on things could be taken a little easier. However, with the girls away, instead of plowing in and getting it all done, I've stepped back, let it go and yesterday did the bare minimum of what was needed. (cleaning the kitchen... oh boy was that needed!!) I'm using the quiet to relax, hang out with my boys playing games, curling up under a pile of warm blankets watching a movie or reading.

I'm sure several of my kids would prefer school holidays to be a time of going out and doing more, but I find for us, they're greatly needed as a chance to rest, re-coup, and regenerate before jumping head long into a new school term.  It's a chance to sleep in instead of 5am starts, to stay in our Pjs should we choose and just take it easy... and that taking it easy does us a world of good. It allows us to start the new term ready to go instead of starting it worn out from being busy all holidays.

Bedtimes are let go of in the first week and we kinda just stay up and do whatever, but in the second week, for the most part I bring back regular bedtimes which means the kids are back on schedule for school.

Reality though is it's not always this blissfully quiet on the home front. School holidays can be difficult at times, especially with all the kids home. They get in each others personal space, become irritated by each others habits or actions. B-man gets the most irritable. He likes quiet and calm, and having everyone home does not promote quiet and calm!

The girls love to sing... loudly. Sometimes together, sometimes different music at the same time from separate rooms. Monkey Man is currently obsessed with 'In the Hall of the Mountain King' and will carry around the iPad with him playing it on repeat (we're into day 5 of that one) or giving a running commentary about whatever game he is playing or activity he is doing (while still playing ITHOTMK in the background). The three of them bounce from one room to the other interacting on various levels - frequently this includes getting on each others nerves and pushing buttons that make one or more of them explode into an indignant temper tantrum.

On those days, the quiet, calm and peace that I'm experiencing today, couldn't be further from my grasp if we tried!! I spend those day acting more like a referee than a Mum, selectively rotating kids through "solitary confinement" (aka individual down time in their bedroom to recoup before coming back out to the family) and I go to bed exhausted wondering how on earth I am going to survive the entire term break.  Ultimately though, we do survive, we do make it through - and relatively unscathed, it's just hard to see that while in the middle of the crossfire.

So today, the cold is a blessing, the quiet is a gift, and I shall enjoy my time with CB and Monkey Man.  I hope you also manage to find even a moment of quiet and calm in your day to regroup, gain some peace and reenergise.