Sometimes there's not even one specific reason for why the day feels hard. It just *is*.
Today was one of those days.
There's certainly lots of things that have been going on here, that when all added together, currently have my heart feeling heavy and I just feel sad, flat and pretty much like I'd rather hide under the covers than face anything. But life doesn't stop... it goes on, as do we.
Today I felt emotional and fragile.
The housework, phone calls I needed to make, everything just felt too much. I was talking to a friend on the phone earlier & she told me to take a chill pill. You know what? She was completely right. I had worked myself all into a lather for no reason. Worrying about things that aren't worth worrying about. Causing myself stress where there didn't need to be stress. Creating issues where there wouldn't BE an issue if I just stepped back and took a breath. Or as she said to me today "You're swimming in the pond instead of looking at it from the edge. Get out & look!" My friend is one smart cookie.
Her verbal kick in the pants was exactly what I needed to remind me to stop being a drama queen. It didn't change the fact things were difficult today or that I felt sad, but it DID change the way I was responding to myself. Instead of wallowing in negative self thought & working myself up, I stepped back, acknowledged that things couldn't possibly be as bad as I was perceiving them to be & that the only thing making them worse was *me* and the way I was viewing them.
So, I did as my dear friend said, took that "chill pill" (figuratively that is) and today I did... nothing. Yup, 100% absolutely, completely *literally* NOTHING and I don't feel an ounce of guilt for it. What I could have used (and my body was yelling for) was sleep, but my head was going in too many directions at once to settle, so I did nothing instead.
Yesterday I had made a list on the whiteboard of what Miss A was to cover in her schoolwork today. This morning I was extremely grateful for that list, as I wasn't thinking clearly enough to finalise her days work. So while Miss A got stuck into her schoolwork, I sat on the couch with a warm drink & just sat there. No blog, no Facebook, no Pintrest, no digital art.... just sat and took the time to simply BE.
As Miss A needed help with different portions of her schoolwork, she'd ask me a question . I'd assist in whatever way was needed... such as helping melt & pour wax to create an Egyptian wax slate for her to practice writing hieroglyphs on for her History project, but with most of todays work she was self sufficient so I had plenty of time to swallow that chill pill.
We ended up skipping science as I simply couldn't get my head around the new program we were starting. But you know what? That's OK. It's not the end of the world if we start the new science unit a day or two late. After Miss A had put in some steady work, I called her over & we quit school early for the day & curled up and watched an episode of Time Team together instead. Miss A *loves* archeology, so she was in heaven watching that.
The couple of hours of down time it gave us together did us both the world of good. It was also helpful that Miss A had had that down time when things fell apart for her a little while later. She had walked to pick up a friend from school and walk her home as she often does. Unfortunately her friend for whatever reason, didn't see her there & Miss A waited for 30mins to no avail. She was heartbroken and came home in tears. However, because of the downtime she'd had, she was able to pull things back together more quickly than she would have otherwise. We talked about the different reasons that may have been behind her friend not meeting her, and I helped Miss A see that her friend would never have stood her up on purpose. They're too close to each other for that. So once she was calm, she felt together enough to call her friend & see if everything was alright.
It's great when things can be sorted easily & simply. It's not always the case, but I treasure the moments of 'easy fixes'. Tomorrow is a new day, a chance to start again. An opportunity to wake with a heart full of joy and to move on forward once more. Today I'm glad I took time to take care of me, and I didn't need to "do" anything special for that to happen.
The housework is still there, bills are still waiting to be paid, calls needing to be made, and they'll still be there tomorrow. But today, instead of pushing myself as I often do, I stepped back to care for me. It was definitely the right thing to do.
How do you deal with days when they just feel too hard? What do you do to carry on? Do you have special things you do to care for yourself when you need that extra care? (or even when you don't!)
I hope you take time to care for you today too... You're the only *YOU* there is, and that makes you pretty darn special. You're worth the extra effort :)
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