CB was 16 months old when B-man came along. I was so excited to have another baby. Despite the struggles with CB, I still wanted the large family I had always dreamed of and I was excited to have a son.
In the hospital, the nurses would come by my room to check out what clothing he was wearing each day. I had known I was having a boy & so had made him a weeks worth of shorts with matching baseball caps. They were such adorable outfits & I loved having the opportunity to make boys clothes instead of only sewing girly stuff.
Unlike CB who took a huge 36hrs to be born, B-man was in quite the rush. 50 minutes of labour and he came into the world. However, just like CB, he was born with the cord wrapped firmly around his neck 3 times. He was blue, not crying, and I was so scared of what I could see, but in a short time, thanks to the fabulous midwife, he was free of the cord, he started breathing & began to turn pink. What a relief!
Little did I know at this time that I was headed for a whole new level of learning with B-man. He was an incredibly strong babe. By 10 months of age, he had kicked out the bars in his cot - snapping them clean in half. While he didn't cry around the clock as CB did, the massive tantrums that developed less than a year later, were beyond anything I'd ever seen. His first ear infection hit at 2 weeks of age and this became a reoccurring theme for him.
For the first 3 years of his life, he developed an ear infection every second week. The ear infections were so bad that he was diagnosed with conductive deafness at 10 months of age. The audiologist told me his hearing was such that if I were to stick both thumbs in my ears as firmly as I could, the amount of sound left was all he had. He could not distinguish one noise from another, it was all garble to him, and his frustration showed constantly. To make matters worse, the moments between infections brought a sudden, but temporary, clearing of his deafness which terrified B-man. He was unable to understand why things suddenly became so loud and it distressed him enormously.
B-man did not develop noises, babbling or speech as other children did. He lived in a world that swung between silence and hearing - spurning out of control, screaming tantrums. He did not know how to make his wishes known and, I had no clue when he could or couldn't hear me when I was speaking to him.
He would throw things, punching & kicking while screaming at the top of his lungs. As he grew, it became harder to calm him and I developed a method of sitting against the wall with my arms and legs wrapped around him firmly, but gently, in order to protect not only myself and his sister, but him from himself also. On Doctor's orders, I emptied his room of everything he owned except his bed. His bedroom became the "safe zone" for him when he was out of control. I would grapple with him while being kicked and punched to get him into the room and then would sit outside his bedroom door sobbing while he raged for 3-4 hours at a time.
I had no idea what was causing my child's behaviour. I couldn't understand why he was so difficult to help, to teach. I went from Doctor to Doctor seeking help, trying to learn what I could do to help my child. However time and time again I was simply told I was a bad parent and needed parenting classes.
I attended more classes than I can begin to count. I tried everything I was taught, yet nothing helped. It didn't take long for me to get to the point where I could virtually teach the classes myself, yet still Doctors refused to see there was anything wrong with my son and continued insisting I go to other classes.
Regardless of their refusal to believe me, I felt strongly something wasn't right with my son and I continued seeking answers. Little did I know just how long that road would be. Years of struggle lay ahead, years of going head to head with Doctors and other specialists, years of knowing something was not right, and yet I was unable to get anyone to see what I could see in him. I was determined though, to get him help and would not give up.
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